I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
