C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
