She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
