Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol