You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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