yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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