tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Randomize
