all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
