On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
