i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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