Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
