he was CRYING into my vagina
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
