just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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