I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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