They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize