i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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