the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Randomize