I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
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She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
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I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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