STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
