This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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