Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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