grandma shit on top of the toilet
i think my mom watched the whole time
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize