You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
