you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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