Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
