I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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