I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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