I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
