my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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