guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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