i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
