i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Randomize
