he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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