Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
bring money and cleavage
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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