i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
