Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
