WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
