Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize