I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
