Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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