Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
well you can't waste a boner
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
