you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
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