I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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