ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
