You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
