You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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