he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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