I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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