Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize