Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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