i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
