...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
