dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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