found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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