U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
