she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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