I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
