i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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